Newsletter Archive: Mother’s Day thoughts, scones, eggs and chicken - a recipe wrap up

Dear Reader,

Mother’s Day is a few short days away and it can be a tricky time to navigate emotions — whether you have a mom, have lost a mom or never became a mom — the day can leave many feeling lost, empty or upset. But here I am, Polly effin’ Positive, to say, we always have reasons to celebrate one another and life, well, Mother’s Day or not.

While I’d like to say the day is a day, it is important for those who celebrate and soy un fan of celebrating those I love and admire. Though I, myself, am not a mother and never knew if I really wanted to be one anyway, I’m less concerned about myself here and more concerned about thinking how I can serve and be a better human during this little time we have together, during this little dance we call life.

The other day I was in physical therapy and the gang was talking about weekend plans. I was listening, not participating, you know just lifting and trying to get one buff shoulder to pour a cup of coffee again. At the end of her session one woman came over to me and said “Have a Happy Mother’s Day.” I was looking in the mirror, staring into my motherless eyes as I lifted two pound weights, and I recalled a time in my past where this woman’s wishes would have burned my ass, heart, possible deflating boob implants, and my whole soul and spirit. I would have thought to myself, as flames rose up behind me and devil’s horns grew on my shiny brown and gray streaked hair, “HOW DARE YOU WISH ME A HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY! I AM NOT A MOTHER! I HAVE NO CHILDREN! I HAVE NEVER BEEN LOVED IN RETURN!” and so on.

I looked at her in the mirror, right behind me, smiled and said “Thank you.” My mom would have been proud that I didn’t emotionally lay in to this woman or bite off her head. I was also proud, I’ve evolved and this is big.

By the time my mother was my age (almost 45) she had 3 full grown teenagers with very different needs, personalities and life desires. I think about how hard it must have been for her to raise 3 kids, having lost her biological mother so young and her father so tragically — that her first born child was sick and she was only 24 years old. She was a kid with a lot of responsibility. My mother has endured the tests of life and has risen to every occasion of hardship (ones I cannot even speak or write of) with a grace I don’t believe I would have had the strength or endurance to uphold. I don’t think my mother is perfect, close, but I think she is human — perfect for our family, God loving, sometimes acts like a Chihuahua but can be a cute little Doodle, beautiful inside and out — and most of all pure in heart. Though we will not be together on Mother’s Day, I will be the Evelyn Grace in my aunt and uncle’s home and make Sunday brunch for the mom’s I’m surrounded by and love — for my aunt and cousin — two women I love dearly, more than they know, and admire.

So, how can you celebrate this day despite your own story or an attachment to a story? How can you let go of a story and make room to celebrate even if the day is not about you?

On Sunday I will make fluffy scones and some sort of egg for my aunt who has been the mother of my heart since I was little. And now, as a big person, she was recently cutting my food, changing my bandages and still has talks with me about my boobs — whether she likes it or not. She deserve’s a scone or a lifetime supply, really. And my cousin who I loved planning dances with at the holiday’s and who I love seeing be a mom. Our time together the last few months is something I will treasure for all of my days to come.

Might I suggest celebrating those you love or celebrating yourself by cooking or baking? Some recipes below, ones to help you get lost in the moment or get lost in a new story. And if you’re on your own on Sunday, motherless, free in time, without a mom or moms to celebrate — get in the kitchen for yourself. Try. Just get up and try to bake a new story. Or order something really effin’ delicious and lay down. Just lay.

With love always,
Tina

PS: Don’t you love that heroin chic photo of my mom with me and my goony brothers? I love that she could pull off being pale and beautiful; so effortless in the midst of her life requiring so much fortitude and effort. I love you, mom.

PPS: To all the mom’s on this newsletter, Happy Mother’s Day. To all the women who wanted to be mom’s - I see you. To all the godmom’s — I love you and you matter so very much. To all the auntie’s who are fun, fancy free and feeling out life, loving little ones (when you can) and living the best you know how - I am you. Stay perfectly imperfect. —xoxox