Tomato Soup For the Soul

Tomato Soup
*serves 4-6

For the first Sunday in quite some time I found myself back in the kitchen. The feeling was somewhat indescribable, but I’ll try my best to detail it here. Cooking has been the backbone to my mental stability, physical wellness, sustained health and the spirit that drives me to give to others. Not having my own kitchen for the last year and six months has proven to be manageable, living with generous family and friends who have graciously opened their homes to me during a time of unexpected change and transition. That feeling I would get every Sunday as I listened to a podcast, audiobook or radio while I cooked alone — well — I felt it this past Sunday. The return to what I knew was sweet, somewhat nostalgic and peaceful. Without cooking I am, admittedly, somewhat lost.

Cooking is not only my steady foundation, but beginning in the summer of 2001 it became an outlet for creativity and deliberately slow living. The process of cooking calms me, it invites me home to myself and balances my brain. I’ve been getting along well with walks, reading, phone calls with friends and deep breaths, but this Sunday I felt something come alive inside of me. That something wasn’t gone, and I was relieved. But I think once any of us find a hobby, or a love that fundamentally changes who we are, going without it can make us feel as though we’ve been stripped bare or like we’ve been taking an extended nap. I love napping, but, well, not for too long.

My aunt and uncle have been taking care of me since my last surgery, a breast explant due to both of my breast implants rupturing and leaking. This was the byproduct of the very first skin revision surgery I had in 2009 after losing 150+ pounds on my own through diet, exercise and rebuilding my relationship with myself and food.

In the last few weeks I’ve been sore, unable to lift much and had no choice but to allow myself rest. Rest is so very hard for me. Is rest hard for you? I’ve asked God for grace in receiving help and I think I’ve done pretty well, succeeding through answered prayers and long pauses. Learning to receive is hard. I’ve been a fixer and do’er for the greater portion of my life, childhood included, but on Sunday I was able to give the gift of soup. Tomato soup. My aunts favorite. The ingredients were already in the house and I thought with a few hours on my own in the kitchen it was the least I could do to say thank you to her and my uncle. Three hours in the kitchen came with the ability to create again and with a calm that swept through my soul.

I often think about how being an emotional eater, an anxious eater, an addicted eater — who wore the shame on her body — on the outside — where everyone could see it — shifted seismically when I started cooking for myself. When I got lost in a moment, whether standing and chopping, stirring or waiting while said food item was roasting or being baked in the oven — all of my worries faded. And, yes, even the weight eventually faded. After I lost the weight, cooking allowed work woes to wander off into pots and pans. The static of my kitchen AM/FM radio mingled with the sound of red sauce bubbling and the smell of onions and garlic frying was therapy in its most tangible form. Cooking has allowed everything in my life that has been unmovable to progress, turning the very parts of my pain into a movable feast.

Who knew one pot of tomato soup could make me feel this way again?

Making tomato soup is somewhat of a ridiculously easy feat. All you’ll need to gather up is butter, shallots or an onion, carrots, garlic, canned tomatoes, chicken or vegetable stock and some salt and pepper. White wine or a white balsamic vinegar is also a lovely addition to the soup, but it’s very optional. With or without it, your soup will sing and speak back to your soul and the soul of others.

The best part? Tomato soup, well, like most of my winter vegetable based soups, are one pot wonders that are easily cooked and then pureed with an immersion blender right in the pot. You can finish it with herbs, croutons, grating cheese or a drizzle of half and half, but at the end of the day I like the soup as is — unfussy and heartwarming.

You’ll start by melting some butter, adding the shallots to the pot and then the carrots. Toss in the garlic and saute everything for about 10-15 minutes over a medium flame, being sure to stir and move the veggies about the pot so nothing sticks or burns. Add in the tomatoes, the stock, bring the pot to a boil, and then lower the flame. Cover and simmer the soup for 30-45 minutes. Voila! You have just made tomato soup! Allow the soup to slightly cool, use the immersion blender to make it silky smooth, and adjust the flavor with a little salt and pepper or some chicken bullion for a more salty and herby pop.

Once the tomato soup is blended, the color will be somewhat of a creamy reddish orange, like a flame. All of this is achieved without adding an ounce of cream. The use of butter really removes the acidity from the tomatoes and makes for a very smooth and palatable soup. If you’d like to use half and half or cream, you can drizzle it in and blend it at this point before warming it up to be served.

Make tomato soup for someone you love or maybe even for the sake of your soul and getting back in the kitchen. Maybe do it with both intentions in mind.

XO

Tomato Soup
*serves 4-6

Ingredients
6 tablespoons of salted or unsalted butter (I prefer salted as I find it easier to adjust the flavor of the soup)
2 large shallots, peeled and chopped (a large onion will also do)
4 carrots, peeled and chopped
3 cloves of garlic, peeled and coarsely chopped
1 x 28 oz. can of crushed tomatoes + 1 x 15 oz can of diced tomatoes
3 cups of chicken stock, + more if needed to thin out the soup to your desired consistency
1 tablespoon of white balsamic vinegar
Salt + pepper to taste
Optional: half and half and/or grated pecorino Romano / Locatelli cheese

Instructions
—Over a medium flame, melt the butter in a large stock pot, adding the shallots/onions and carrots. Mix well and saute for 10 minutes.
—Add garlic and cook until fragrant, an additional 5 minutes, adding a sprinkle of salt to release the natural juices from the vegetables.
—Add all of the tomatoes and the stock to the pot, mix well and bring to a boil.
—Once the soup has boiled, lower the heat and allow the tomato soup to simmer for 30-45 minutes with the cover on the pot.
—Removed the pot from the heat and allow to slightly cool
—Add white balsamic vinegar (vinegar helps balance the acid when added to tomato sauce or soup!) and use an immersion blender to blend the soup to a smooth consistency
—Adjust salt and add pepper to taste
—Optional: blend in 1/4 cup of half and half (I find the salted butter makes the soup creamy enough and eliminates the acidity, but adding the cream is a decision of preference) and/or 1/3 cup of grated Locatelli cheese for an extra salty lip smack!