Writing about mental and physical health, books, podcasts, music, travel, new experiences and anything that contributes to personal growth. Sharing tidbits of joy and some serious things too. With a few notes on miracles and spirituality, of course. When we we read, listen and connect from our hearts, we can continue to stay curious and learn. Let’s grow together.
Self-love and self-care function together, but they’re also different. Self-love is a process of forgiveness, acceptance and compassion. I wrote about self-love here, sharing some things you might think about as your creating a new and loving relationship with yourself as well as a few actions you can take toward yourself as you learn to develop an intimate bond within you. Today, I want to talk a little bit more about self-care and its nuances. Self-care is more than a once a week bubble bath or cooking the occasional dinner, but consistent lifestyle choices that support your emotional, mental, spiritual and physical well being. Self-care really is a holistic approach to your life. These acts of self-care support self-love and, to be wholly honest, I realized I’ve only started caring for myself in the last year or so. I was always
Self-love and self-care are words we have heard a lot lately, right? Especially over the last few years and throughout the pandemic when our lives changed so very much; housebound, in ruts, on top of one another or completely isolated if you were without family. But what do these words really mean anyway? What do these words mean to me and to you in the context of our individual everyday life that moves, bends, shakes and stirs in 90 directions all at the same time and in different ways? On the giant adult slip and slide of life it’s hard to not take a fall, forget, put off a much needed pause or to stop when we are struggling to stand. But self-love is knowing who we are on a deeper level, it grounds us and gives us the ability to think and understand where we fit into a situation or a role as our most authentic self.
Writing has been a tool I’ve used for most of my life to express how I feel. An avid diary and journal keeper since childhood, I can’t imagine life without writing about my feelings, hopes and heartache through humor and story. I’ve used my journal to write about anything from my morning coffee, constipation, hopeless dates, fear, letters to food I’ve overeaten, lists of reasons I love people in my life and the things I’m most afraid of. I know you might be thinking “I’m not a writer, why would I write or keep a journal?” And my answer would be that we can all write because we all experience life and carry stories inside of us. These stories do not have to be shared or detailed like a writer in the form of a poem, novel or a short story but it is our work to release what’s inside of us; for better or worse.
I’ve been thinking a lot about why movement is so important in our lives beyond changing or amplifying the shape of our body, gains, getting snatched, a six pack, legging legs, thigh gaps and all of the words we see associated with fitness, exercise and, even now, yoga and pilates practices. I’ve also been thinking a lot about why it’s the human condition to make excuses, be non-committal and think about health as a loss instead of a gain.
Yesterday marked my 9 month Yoga-versary. That’s 9 months of almost daily practice, a commitment I never imagined I would keep to myself. A commitment longer than any romantic relationship, but I suppose my yoga story is one of love and romance too. Just with myself. And, if people can celebrate their babies month to month, who am I to not celebrate a commitment to self-love?
As we all know, habits are patterns we repeat over and over again until they become natural to us. Sometimes we have developed really fantastic habits and other times … um, not so much. A habit can be a difficult thing to make and an easy thing to break, but how we treat our own mind and body as well as how we treat others can change the way we feel inside and out. Maintaining healthy habits can be hard in the midst of life, but I know from practice that it’s possible with some active thinking and, maybe, this acronym as a reminder.
I arrived at my first hot yoga class 30 minutes early and waited outside of the studio with my mat, a book, a towel and my bottle of water. Sweating makes me highly uncomfortable because I don’t just sweat, I become a human puddle. It’s a sight to behold and has been so mentally debilitating that I’ve cancelled dates in the summer or begged them to be in the confines of air conditioning and darkness. When I was heavier I navigated the world
I know, at least for me, that the challenge of doing something new is almost always fraught with a frothy layered fear of failure. I would think first about what I would lose, instead of what I might gain from the new experience. Framing something as negative before the jump, before even trying is the fail. By thinking negatively, we’ve stopped success in its tracks. But the yes lives inside all of us. And doing new things is supposed to be hard, duh.
I like to feel inspired and excited about learning. Other writers inspire me, news and research about health, fitness, mindfulness and even manifesting all have a place in my heart and mind. I also like astrology, and I don’t care if you may judge me - it mixes well with spirituality, faith and G-O-D. Although I did leave the latter out of this piece for now. I also enjoy an inspiring quote, and I care not if that is perceived as corny. Inspiring quotes not only make me think, but they motivate me to be better. Words of wisdom can often times add perspective and depth to our lives, and who couldn’t use a bit more of that these days?
Yes, for the 100th time, it’s the New Year. HAPPY NEW YEAR-ISH! While most people are doing dry January, I have not had a desire to drink in the last 9 months. Maybe it’s where I am in my life or I’ve lost my mind on this “journey.” My primary desire this January, and as of late, is to use my time more wisely and in service of how I want to feel. This means taking a look at how I spend my time, which is scary. I can guarantee that I spend at least 30 minutes to 1 hour of my life, a few times a week, in an Al Bundy position on the couch watching Millionaire Matchmaker. Patty makes me laugh.
Taking the time to dream a little bit can set the stage for living a bigger and brighter life. A bigger and brighter life is determined by you, your comfort, your hunger for growth and a desire to live in and leave this world better. It may seem juvenile or fruitless to have or talk about dreams, but I can guarantee you that it’s not. Having dreams expands our lives, health, and creativity; giving us something to aspire to and enjoy.
In September of 2020 I sat across the table from Nick at a mediocre Mexican restaurant in my neighborhood of Astoria, Queens. It was our second date and not much about the food was memorable, but our conversation was and, if I’m being honest, so were his eyes. Hardly a love story between him and I, but the date was the beginning of a love story I would soon create with myself, but I didn’t know it walking into that ordinary night at that ordinary, mediocre restaurant to meet a man I hardly knew and would never kiss.
